Thundering Mouse Retreat

There was once a beautiful stretch of dry river bed in an isolated little valley not far from the source of the River Wharfe. It was held so dear and special by one man in particular that he decided humans shouldn't be the only ones to enjoy it, and that Mice should also be able to marvel at it's splendour.
Being a bit of a caving enthusiast best known for his interest in discovering the interplanetary cave system, yes the interplanetary cave system! Which links all the planets in our solar system, via a subterranean network of passages, mostly using the imagination. Which most folk assumed was just his excuse to think about caving but not actually do any. He thought otherwise and truly believed in it's existence.

After finding the spot in question, amongst the age-old sculpted bed of Limestone, our hero had a vision of something truly beyond all belief. He imagined he was a mouse suddenly confronted with a chamber as mighty as Gaping Gill. After giving it some thought he realised this was more than feasible, though some rather devious techniques would have to be employed. The apple didn't fall far from the tree as it was on that front.
Along a bedding plane big enough to barely fit your arm could be heard a distant trickle. A trickle that most would dismiss, but not our man. He imagined how a mouse would feel here and the mighty passage this trickle would signify, a truly awe inspiring master cave, though still some way off Gaping Gill proportions relative to a Mouse.
Karl Simmons was introduced to the site but quickly dismissed it as a total waste of time, 'not unless I planned on encountering Roald Dahl's Witches any-fucking-time soon!', he was overheard saying.
When interviewed later Simmons showed only disdain and regret in having handed one of his own projects over to this group, a site which would later become 'Howgay Is This'. The only thing Simmons could agree on was the more than appropriate name of the latter site.

Our protagonist then enrolled the help of the best cave forgers and blasters in the valley. The only requirement was they had to dress in human sized mouse costumes while working there. This made for hot sweaty work, especially the hands whilst handling the truck loads of explosives used. The costumes were a show of respect to the Mice Gods, who it was hoped would endorse it as a wonder of the mouse world.

Some folk have the gift of the gab, something our protagonist certainly had in bucket loads, and not necessarily mouse sized buckets either.

Those he enrolled believed little in his mouse vision, but hoped they would be invited to work on his other projects like the interplanetary system, or the three mountains system which linked Mount Mckinley, Mount Aconcagua and Everest. There were also whispers within his camp of a Star Gate in Latin America. From the outside he appeared like a real life Indiana Jones type character, especially his modelling portfolio, which was mostly based on the character.

For two long years the team waged war with that stubborn, tungsten like bed of rock. A digger and dump truck were acquired for the duration making it totally un-necessary for the team to go underground.
The site became a regular tourist attraction, with an onsite butty van in regular attendance. Even a local religious sect would sometimes perform services here. Families would make long drives to picnic here as well. This pleased our protagonist greatly, he never imagined in a million years the fame he would bring this valley. His favourite thing in the whole world was signing autographs for the many children who idolised him in his heroic mouse costume.

The project came to a head during it's final winter when supplies of explosive were becoming scarce. This incredible feat of cave exploration was actually draining the worlds supply of Dynamite. Quarries and Mines were called upon to cease operating whilst the project was finished, freeing up vast stocks. This was just enough to see the project completed after almost four years.
Some locals joked of the next generation being required to continue work from the previous. Fortunately for our protagonist that was not to be, he'd lived to see his dream become a reality.

The inaugural opening was a sight to behold, so much so a national holiday was introduced in it's honour. Three of the team's crack operatives, dressed in their mouse costumes, entered the cave, which allowed only enough space for the three of them to crouch uncomfortably. A waterfall existed part way along which when measured fell twelve whole inches! They struggled but did their best to look about in awe at their creation. It certainly wasn't made for people they all agreed but for a mouse it would be a breathtaking experience. After their ordeal the three exited the cave with the distant stare of men who've been to the other side. A look referred to as the Thousand Yard Stare.

The site was named The Mighty Gulf and visited by mice from all around the globe. Some years later it was bought by the holiday company Mouse Retreats and renamed Thundering Mouse Retreat.

At the beginning of this story the word 'once' was used in reference to this location. Such creations come at a cost to what was there in the beginning. That length of dry river bed will never be the same, especially later when others with a similar vision, came to create their own cave systems. Those who envisioned such an attraction for the Yak or Elephant are the ones who did the most damage. This once beautiful site is no more, but if you're one of many species that exist in the animal kingdom then you will not be disappointed, for there is something vastly uninspiring but ultimately subterranean for you all to momentarily feast your eyes.

The End